Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Elephant Jokes


Elephant Jokes


Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.


Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.


Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.


Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a duck.


Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.


Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.


Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.


Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants?
A: "Look, there's a herd of elephants."


Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses?
A: Nothing, he didn't recognize them.


Q: How do you make an elephant float?
A: Well, you take an elephants, some chocolate ice-cream and some bananas,.....


Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.


Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.


Q: What do you call any elephant who is an expert on skin disorders?
A: A pachydermatoligist.


Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.


Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.


Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!


Q: What's big and green and slimy, and hangs from tall trees?
A: Elephant boogers.


Q: How many elephants can you fit into a VW?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.


Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.


Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A: Sir.


Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!


Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a duck.


Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.


Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.


Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.


Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.


 Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!


Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Bloody great holes all over Australia.


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.


Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.


Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals. ?


Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: to stamp out forest fires.


Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: to stamp out flaming ducks.


Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey the Elephant.


Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.

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