This is a real job description.
This list was posted recently online. I don’t know where to begin so I will let
you read it first.
Job Responsibilities:
1. Create graphical ads
and write topical copy for trade publications
2. Promote company
products by revising Sales brochures
3. Design direct mail and
email collateral for campaigns
4. Increase our SEO
rankings by managing web content
5. Manage online calendar
of events and blog
6. Develop quarterly
newsletter design and topics
7. Work with list
generation providers for mailings and call campaigns
8. Add and remove products
on the company online store
9. Coordinate tradeshow
attendance and track leads from them
10. Use social media in
order to promote our products
11 Research and develop
case studies
12. Maintain
professionalism in small office environment
Note: All other duties as
assigned
Must be self-sufficient
and have adequate telephone and computer skills.
Yikes, graphical
ads and topical copy while reviewing
brochures, designing DM and collateral, improving SEO, updating web content,
writing blogs, managing lists, trade shows, social media, case studies…be
professional and ready for other
duties as assigned. And be ready to answer the phone and demonstrate computer
skills. Benefits: You can come in early and work 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Some
college, non-manager…no respect.
The successful candidate
will need to have low self-esteem, perform flawlessly and still expect failure
because being self-sufficient means you will be judged on decisions you will
routinely make in a vacuum. Welcome to the rewarding profession of marketing in
the digital age. And if it isn’t too much trouble, can you pick up my dry
cleaning on your lunch half-hour?
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