Saint Louis Artists' Guild

Saint Louis Artists’ Guild

The Saint Louis Artists Guild (STLAG) believes that immersion in the arts and creativity improves the quality of life. Their tagline “Inspiring Art Experiences” inspires me and, as such, I was happy to venture out to the Clayton gallery space and be among those artists and art fans at the opening on January 13, 2023 in Clayton, MO.

An easel advertises classes for every age group and suggests that they are an inclusive and inviting home. A Community Painting Wall – Expressionism Art greets you at the Ramp Gallery before the walls reveal a featured display of The Mandala Project: An Artists Collective Nancy Early, Gray Finch, Maria Ojascastro, Valeria Priesto, Mary Beth Tipton was on view with a theme of Vision of Form and Space.

Tim Wagner is poised in front of a painting in progress that exemplifies the collaborative art making process. His wife and two small children and nearby adding a flavor of accessibility to the showing that opens up to several community artist works on view like those of Mark Witzling (director of the Craft Alliance) and Debbie Franke (painter/photographer) and painter Deena Boyer. Of course there is wine and cheese and it feels like a celebration of the creative process. 

 

 

Roses sent to Mary Ross in Lakewood, Ohio, She framed.

(Just to add something I've done lately as I ponder this artists organization).

See You at the Movies

 

I love going to the movies. While the world is still applying an abundance of caution and avoidance of public spaces, I hope people will start returning to the movies. Nothing replaces the movie going experience - not digital streaming or any of a host of other home entertainment options. As I gear up for the Academy Awards next month, I’m glad I made my way a few notable fine films. 

BABYLON is a tale of outsized ambition and outrageous excess, Babylon traces the rise and fall of multiple characters during an era of unbridled decadence and depravity in early Hollywood. Brad Pitt and Margoe Robbie. This big screen production is a treat for anyone interested in reflecting on the motion picture business over the last 100 years.

Set on a remote island off the west coast of Ireland, THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN follows lifelong friends Pádraic and Colm, who find themselves at an impasse when Colm unexpectedly puts an end to their friendship. A stunned Pádraic, aided by his sister Siobhán and troubled young islander Dominic, endeavours to repair the relationship, refusing to take no for an answer. But Pádraic's repeated efforts only strengthen his former friend’s resolve and when Colm delivers a desperate ultimatum, events swiftly escalate, with shocking consequences. Movie goers are treated to a powerful story of the personal dynamics of human interaction in a remote but beautiful corner of the world.

ELVIS  played by Golden Globes Best Actor winner.  The film explores the life and music of Elvis Presley (Austin Butler), seen through the prism of his complicated relationship with his enigmatic manager, Colonel Tom Parker (Tom Hanks). The story delves into the complex dynamic between Presley and Parker spanning over 20 years, from Presley's rise to fame to his unprecedented stardom, against the backdrop of the evolving cultural landscape and loss of innocence in America. Central to that journey is one of the most significant and influential people in Elvis's life, Priscilla Presley (Olivia DeJonge). This movie looks at Elvis in the context of his career decisions. Elivs’ only daughter died, at age 54, just a few days after the actor in the title role won a Golden Globe for his performance.

TOP GUN: MAVERICK fast forwards us on a narrative of Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise) pushing the envelope as a courageous test pilot and dodging the advancement in rank that would ground him. Maverick encounters Lt. Bradley Bradshaw (Miles Teller), call sign: “Rooster,” the son of Maverick’s late friend and Radar Intercept Officer Lt. Nick Bradshaw, aka “Goose”. Maverick is drawn into a confrontation with his own deepest fears. This is movie making with ambition to leverage a franchise/story with box office draw.

THE FABLEMANS finds young Sammy Fabelman who falls in love with movies after his parents take him to see "The Greatest Show on Earth." Armed with a camera, Sammy starts to make his own films at home, much to the delight of his supportive mother. Steven Spielberg, creator of “Jaws” and pioneer of blockbuster filmmaking shares why he is compelled to be a storyteller.

Based on the comical and moving New York Times bestseller, A MAN CALLED OTTO tells the story of Otto Anderson (Tom Hanks), a grumpy widower whose only joy comes from criticizing and judging his exasperated neighbors. When a lively young family moves in next door, he meets his match in quick-witted and very pregnant Marisol, leading to an unexpected friendship that will turn his world upside-down. Tom Hanks is powerful in a personal and great story that challenges us to consider how we view each other,

What's Next?

 

Happy New Year to me. As I write this blog I am watching Scarface, the 1983 movie staring Al Pacino and Michelle Pfeifer with Cuban-born actor Steven Bauer. (Bauer studied at the University of Miami and was a friend of another UM actor, Ray Liotta). The Oliver Stone screenplay and direction of Brian DePalma are a perfect movie for me as I reflect and consider "What's Next?". The movie starts with a bit of historical context about the 125,000 Mariel refugees, many of whom landed in Miami. The movie marks the legacy of drug cartels and violence in my beloved South Florida (notably, Miami Beach). It is hard to believe that was 40 years ago and just after I finished my MBA at the University of Miami.

Like Pacino's character, I find myself in a new place and new circumstances. I broke my contract as a Special Education Teacher for middle schoolers in North Saint Louis and quickly signed on as part of the corps of Kelly Personnel to act as a substitute while I explore options. So far I've been a sub at Special School District Neuwoehner High School and am scheduled to sub at Parkway West High School and Kirkwood High School. I met with the principal of Winfield Middle School about an immediate opening for an Art Teacher. (A welcome change of venue and content area about 30 minutes from my appartment. We'll see if the offer is extended to me.)

Meanwhile, I have been proud of myself as my first year as a widow is about to close. (My wife died peacefully in her sleep on February 3, 2022), My kids and their nuclear families and the Matriarch (my mother in law) have been the foundation of a remarkable support system for me. 

I try to remind myself that I have risen above setbacks and my triumphs have always been as part of an ebb and flow of seemingly random circumstances. I made a note to myself on December 17 that "I should be at an all time low, Instead I am full of hope". 

I am not about to pursue organized crime or seize control of a drug cartel like the lead character in Scarface. I am free to be in the moment, however. I am free to travel a bit (especially when it can coincide with visits to places like Lincoln, Nebraska; Kansas City, Missouri; Ocean, New Jersey; Philadelphia, PA; New York City; Tampa, Florida; Indian Rocks Beach, Florida; Sarasoto, Florida; Cleveland, Ohio. In spite of the less than optiomal weather locally, I can't help acting like I am on a Staycation in my current home town of Saint Louis (with visits to the Saint Louis Art Museum, Laumeier Sculpture Park etc.).

As I continue to ponder the question: "What's Next?" I am letting the here and now unfold and letting the notion of being in the moment prevail. This morning I caught a glympse of the Full Wolf Moon. Today the sun was shining and it was a moderate 33 degrees as I walked around Laumeier Sculpture Park.

Stay Tuned.

 

    

  

Since You've Been Gone

 

What have I been doing since Lynn died?

Make no mistake about it. I have been busting into tears at completely random times since Lynn died quite unexpectedly and peacefully in her sleep on February 3, 2022. “May her memory be a blessing.” (It is.) Life events as routine as a visit to the grocery store or catching the French Open Tennis on television or finding an incredible thank you note from a flight attendant written on a cocktail napkin are continual reminders of what it means to share a life with someone. My children, amazing adults living in Tampa and New Jersey, along with their spouses and those amazing grandchildren (two boys born in vintage year 2016) are ample reinforcement to the notion of how blessed I am.

The Matriarch of our family, the incomparable Toby (aka Toto, TR). has been a pillar of strength. “Stay busy. Spend time with friends and family. We will get through this. You need to take care of yourself.”  I have had a busy and remarkable schedule in six months of phenomenal activity full of blessings and joy. (“Lynn, I know you are watching and you know we love you always.  …This is the day that G-d has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”)

Just a few highlights from my calendar.

Feb 3 Thursday - RIP Lynn (a day that altered my existence).

Feb 4 Friday - Youth service at Shaare Emeth (Lynn, your name is now on the memory wall there). Special thanks to Cantor Seth Warner for the home visit and invitation. 

Feb 5 – 6 – Dan and Netti drove in from Cleveland. Dinner at the Cheshire Inn, Mass at the Cathedral Basilica (Archbishop Rozanski presiding), Art Hill and Saint Louis Art Museum.

Feb 11 - Cemetery in Neptune, NJ burial site family plot next to Papa Sam who passed in 1993. Morgan balance from Rob, Greg (his two boys Wes and Matt), and Dave Drimer (You know I love you like a brother).  

Feb 14 - Birthday cake on Toby’s birthday at the home of Ben/Allison and James.

Feb 28 - Coffee with P. Drake and B. Ellis (I cannot thank these two amazing friends enough for being…just for being).

Mar 3 – Rob in Saint Louis. He secured front row seats at Delmar Hall for John Paul White with Parker Milsap as opening act. Headliner John Paul White offered “How about that Parker Milsap?", adding the jestful comment to the audience before he bagan to play “Ya know…opening acts are supposed to suck.”

March 23-25 – What could be more fun than Dinosaur World and a round of putt-putt golf with RLD in Plant City, Florida. (A lovely chat with Dahlia on the phone with an offer to visit her in Miami is most tempting.) I got a hole-in-one off of Lawton’s heel on #5.

Tues March 28 – Bill Ellis pow wow at Five Guys in Creve Coeur.

April 9 – Masters Mayhem at CCGC with Daryl Vandiver.

April 10 – Coffee with Perry Drake on Sunday at Saint Louis Art Museum

April 23 – Sweet dinner at the Mason Oaks Lane home of Bill and Tara Ellis.

April 28 – Cardinals vs. Diamondbacks with teachers and colleagues of Westview Middle School. (Can’t beat a night at the ballpark).

May 4 – UMSL marketing advisory board meeting at Integrity in U City. Creative Director Morissey brief on the emerging creative class and organzing the work.

May 6 – Opening (judges) at Annual Art Fair Mothers’ Day weekend at Laumeier Sculpture Park.

May 20, 2022 Cleveland - Pier W with Dan and Janie on my birthday. 

May 21, 2022 - Cleveland Museum of Art (one of my favorite places in the world), St. Luke all-school reunion. (So great to see 8^th grade co-caption and QB Dan Caine along with Scott Derringer, Carol Weist and so many other Crusaders.)

May 26, 2022 Thursday Nights - HBE golf league begins at Creve Coeur Golf Course. 

June 2, 2022 - Zoom presentation to Career Rebound (Thanks to Greg Morgan, Wendy Leigh etc.) How Wes Morgan managed to work for 12 top flight advertising agencies, four corporate environmets before becoming a Special Educator.

June 4, 2022 - Celebration of Life for Evan Willnow (Willoughby Farm - Collinsville, IL). He was great. But the truly remarkable thing about Evan was that he made others great. 

June 12 – Laumeier Sculpture Park activity day. Loretto Hilton Center in Webster Groves production of Carmen – Saint Louis Opera Theater.

June 16 AMA luncheon at Maggiano’s with Sharon Harvey-Davis as speaker on Diversity Equity and Inclusion. She was great and so much fun to reconnect with this collegue from past life at HBE. She has recently retired after 20 years with Ameren.

June 17-21 to NJ (on Ben) for extended Fathers’ Day weekend. Liberty State Park, BBQ at Deb/David Schatzow’s, Colonial Terrace 9-hole Golf Course with kids (James, Samson, Marlow, neighborhood kids etc) serving refreshments at 7^th hole T-box behind Ben’s house in Ocean, NJ. And…the amazing day trip to Storm King (New Windsor, NY). And a BONUS day at Elberon Beach Club. Just perfect.

June 21 – Movie at AMC Creve Coeur Top Gun Maverick

June 25 – Cherokee/Lemp antique district engagement party for Samantha Cox and Matthew Whelan.

June 27 - Laumeier Sculpture Park in morning followed by Double Red (my O Negative blood) donation at Impact Life.

June 30 – Legacy Legal Group probate kick off with Ben on remotely. HBE golf.

July 1 – AMA golf (Mogley, Shaughnessy, Cox, Jones, Tom Ferris, Ted Ruzicka, Slam! Principal Tyler Kelly and brother).

July 4 – Fair Saint Louis concerts (Young MC, Color Me Badd, Tone Loc, Just in Time), activities and fireworks at the Gateway Arch. 

July 7 – to SF via Southwest. BART to Denise (Milbrae). Rothko at SFMOA. ATwater Tavern with Johnny Caine.

July 8 – VRBO HQ stocked by Rob (Fritos etc) with Dan, Greg and boys Wes and Matt and GFs Alexis and Bianca). Denise.

July 9 – K-Mo + Mad Wedding (Kevin Morgan and Madelyn Burkhart) at Beltrane Ranch in Sonoma Valley. Storybook wedding.

July 10 – Saint Leo mass with Dan and Alexis followed by donuts and coffee

July 11 – Muir Woods – Redwood forest (w Lauren, Bianca, Greg). 

July 12 – 5:30 am Zita ride to Oakland Airport from Novato. To Longh Beach and connecting to St. Louis. 

July 13 – Elvis movie at Creve Coeur AMC 12

July 18 – Sign something about a bond at Legacy Legal Group

July 29 – SSD Health Fair at Neuwoehner High School (Blood Screen)

August 4-7 – Philly – The Barnes Foundation. Lindsey, Lawton, Ben…

August 8 – Back to school WMS

August 19-20 (plan) – Cleveland – Winton Place, Rock and Roll HoF, CMA, Solstice Steps. Janie.

September 17 – Laumeier Big Diner event.

So, life continues for me with a lot of activity (largely designed to keep me distracted from my new reality). North (Cleveland), South (Tampa), East (Ocean) and West (Novato/Sonoma). Ya gotta see the forest for the trees. Incidental as I am, I am a truly blessed man.

Drake Shares

 

Perry Drake was so very gracious in sharing his grief over the loss of his incredible wife Rhonda, This blog captures the essence of two social media communications from Perry.

They say it will get easier as time goes on. I certainly hope so. Losing a parent/sibling is tough but losing a spouse/life partner is just different. It is like losing a part of yourself. You feel at a loss in so many ways. Rhonda was such a huge part of who I am and became. She was my compass. She instilled in me so many great values. We were a team for 35+ years. She was the first person I saw in the morning when we woke up (okay, on occasion it might have been Taco or Peanut) and the last person I saw before we went to sleep.

I am not looking forward to Monday's service. I am so nervous and scared. I am afraid the pain will be unbearable facing the reality of it all. Could it be worse than the past three weeks? But one thing is for certain, I am surrounded by so many great friends, family and colleagues. I remember one thing the Pastor told me this past Monday when meeting with him to chat about the upcoming service ....he said, "Just know that everyone at the service will be rooting for you Perry, they are all on your side. So do not worry." That provided such comfort.

The picture is Rhonda at her birthday dinner on October 13, 2017. I forgot the name of the restaurant. She picked. Isn't she beautiful? And, this was just one year after being diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Over these 5 years, she endured many operations, scans, brain radiation, emergency room visits, and weekly Chemo from that point onward until she passed away just two weeks ago. She was a fighter. Never giving up. Not even till the end. I am proud of her. Till Monday, this will be my last post. Love to you all.

 

On Sunday June 13th at 5:33 pm Rhonda Drake, my wife of 35+ years, passed away. She could no longer fight off the effects of her stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and all those chemo drugs. This all occurred while on vacation in Destin, Florida. What was supposed to be a two-week escape for Rhonda from cancer ended up being anything but. Her kidneys failed day two here in Destin and she never fully recovered. We had to put her under, use the support of a breathing tube and connect her with dialysis for three days. It was a nightmare that lasted a total of 9 days.

On Saturday the 12th she was somewhat energetic and looked good. She asked to sit in the guest chair (below), was a bit more talkative than usual and ate some apple sauce and ice cream that I fed her. It was a hopeful sign that we would be able to get her stable enough to transport her back to St. Louis. Little did I realize this is what some call a “medical rally” that occurs right before death…the brain signaling the body to go, go, go one last time.

I snapped this picture of her, I told her she looked like a female version of Mahatma Gandhi. She smiled. I will miss her fiercely. She was my rock, my compass, and is the whole reason I am who I am today. Like a caterpillar transforms to a butterfly, Rhonda too has risen to the heavens. Please scroll through her wall to see the love she had for her butterfly garden, nature, her little dogs Taco and Peanut, and God.

Grandma's Cherry Pie

 

Grandma’s Cherry Pie

Hey Grandma, I made a cherry pie last night

Mixed it up with memories tugging at my side

Used your crock, cracked with time

Saw a family running fast

Felt a world of love and pride

The sifter still works fine

And the rolling pin, she still rolls

And I wondered just how many hearts and how many tears

Did this piece of rolled wood so quietly mend

As we fought the wars in search of peace

Through these many happy years

The plate was worn from your crusts before mine

But it still holds cherries, love and so much more

And I thought, as I held my own family close and tight

I will savor this pie and all it means

With every loving moving bite

Yea, I made a cherry pie last night…

 

Ronald J. Unterreiner

What to Say - RIP

 

Stages of Grief and What to Say

We all have family and/or friends who have experienced the loss of a loved one. More often than not we are speechless. We offer condolences. We say that they will be in our thoughts and prayers. Sometimes we even attempt to console them with evidence that we have comparable pain and suffering. Sadly, it is generally irrelevant and not at all helpful. This is a difficult time to express in words your love and support in this time of sadness and loss. 

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD, [1926–2004] a Swiss-born psychiatrist, humanitarian, and co-founder of the hospice movement around the world described the five stages of grief in her groundbreaking book On Death and Dying. Is there is anything one can say that matches well with the stages model she outlined when it comes to post mortem for survivors? Denial and Isolation – Is it appropriate to allow someone time to process their feelings? Is this a time to extend ourselves in the spirit of friendship and support? Anger – At this stage: Should we try to mitigate the feelings? Is it better to allow an individual to blow off steam? Bargaining – Is this an appropriate time to suggest prayer and/or spiritual intervention? Are their goals/challenges that can give a person motivation for living in spite of their loss? Depression – How can we encourage a kind of Mindfulness in the face of such devastation? Acceptance – We cannot possibly know how someone feels about accepting the inevitable.

A few thoughts and phrases you might want to avoid because they risk either minimizing unique feelings of grief or actually making matters worse: I know how you feel (We all experience and process grief differently.) What a terrible loss. (Avoid dwelling on the pain or difficulty of the loss.) This happened for a reason. (Even with the best intentions behind it, this notion risks assigning blame for the death.)  It is probably best to steer clear of predictions about how their grief journey will go. Be present and supportive instead.

More recently, a friend suggested that the best thing to say to loved ones upon hearing of a loss (at least initially) is "There are no words." Because, so often that is the case. The follow up is rooted in the reality of a longer term. "May the memories (of the departed) be a blessing."

Death, Be Not Proud by John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die